A few more ways parents make their children angry…

22 Oct

A third way to make your children angry is to refuse to overlook mistakes or sins.

I want you to imagine someone who followed you around all day and every time you made a mistake, pointed it out to you and even worse, to everyone else as well and then even worse, kept bringing it up over and over.

I think for most of us that would drive us crazy and yet that’s the way some parents are with their children.

Proverbs 10:12 says “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers over offences.”

Now there is a contrast there between hatred and love. When you really love somebody, you are willing to overlook times when they hurt you. You don’t have to bring up every sin or mistake, but when you don’t love someone, you know what you do, you are constantly pointing out the errors that they are making.

And you can probably see how that goes in your own life, where someone you really care about says something to you that is a little offensive and you are like, o.k., I don’t like that but I love that guy and I am just going to ignore it this time and then someone you don’t like so much says the same thing to you and you freak out.

We all I hope would say we love our children, but we need to be careful we don’t hate them in the way we act, where every time they fail, we have to point it out and shove their face in it.

If your children are angry, you might just ask yourself, if you show them any grace? Are you one of these people who has to point out every mistake, every time your children do something that you don’t like?

Another way Proverbs says you can make people angry is by being so sure of yourself all the time that you don’t take other people’s suggestions and counsel seriously.

You know the always right dad even when he is wrong?

Some guys have mastered the art of never admitting that they don’t know something or that they have made a mistake, even when it is so obvious to everyone else.

In Proverbs 13:10, Solomon says “By insolence comes nothing but strife” and insolence there is referring to someone who won’t take advice.

There is hardly anything more frustrating than someone who is overconfident in his own abilities and in his own knowledge. Your children can see that and they may be intimidated by you for a while, but they will soon learn that you are just hot air and after a while of you talking so arrogantly and refusing to humble yourself and take direction, they will become bitter at you for not ever listening to good counsel.

When your children are angry, you might just look at yourself and ask, do you ever admit you don’t know or that you are wrong?

A fifth way to make your kids hate you is to be always focused on your own personal best and to be so focused on your own personal best that you are willing to step all over people (even your children) and sin to get it.

There are some people who are obviously selfish and when they don’t get what they want, they blow up and everybody can see it.

But there are other people who are a little more self-controlled. That doesn’t mean however, they are any less selfish. They are scheming in their mind about how to use others to get what they want.

In fact there is an interesting contrast about just this in Proverbs 14:17. It says that a man of “quick temper acts foolishly, and a man of evil devices is hated.” The man of evil devices, you could translate that, the schemer. The quick tempered man has no control over his emotions, he’s just out there and he does stupid things; but the schemer, he is more disciplined, he keeps his emotions in check, but that doesn’t mean he is any better than the quick tempered man, no he is thinking and making plans about how he can get what he wants and even use other people to get what he want.

And you know there are parents like that, they are always scheming and making plans about how to get their way, and you know because they are older they are smarter than their kids, they don’t just freak out and do stupid things that shows everybody how selfish they are, but they are just as self-focused and Solomon says you know what happens to a person that is like that, he’s hated. Even his own children end up hating him, because he is so self-centered.

And so if your children are angry, it might just be a wake up call for you to ask yourself, if you are overly focused on yourself and what you want– to the point where you barely notice your kids and what’s best for them?

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