It is tempting when you think someone is overreacting to something to dismiss their concerns altogether and feel like you need to prove to them their response is merely an overreaction.
But it seems wiser to ask yourself what their response tells you about them and while not necessarily affirming everything about that response, making it your goal at least, to let them know you hear them and you hurt alongside of them.
At the same time, it is tempting when you think someone is under reacting to something to write them off as completely cold-hearted and feel like you need to shout your concerns more loudly so they can hear you more clearly.
But, I think it seems wiser to respond to what you see as a lack of compassion with compassion, instead of merely imitating the ones you are disappointed in. How? By making God’s interests your interests. In other words, pursuing their spiritual good. Putting your case in God’s hands. Doing whatever you can not to assume the worst. (And this is harder than it looks!) And thinking of how you can speak in ways that make knowledge acceptable.