Husbands!

Jay Adams:

“If love has grown cold in a family, the counselor should encourage the husband to do something about it. He must urge him to emulate the love of Jesus Christ for His church, stressing his responsibility to initiate love. He must not allow him to plead, ‘I can’t love her because she doesn’t love me.’ Instead, he might respond, ‘Jesus loved us when we had no love for him. You are the head of your home. If there is little or no love in that home, it is your fault. God holds you responsible to introduce love. At least your love can be shown. You must begin by giving. You must give your time, your interest, your money, yourself. Let’s plan now to do something specific for your wife each day this week. It is possible that your wife will fail to return your love, no matter how much you try. But regardless, there can be love in that home. Your love for her can permeate all. If your home is cold and sterile, you hold the prime responsibility to change the situation. The wife in Ephesians 5 is not told to love her husband. She is told to submit. The husband is told to love his wife. You have a difficult job. But to honor and reflect Christ’s love you must not fail. The fact that the husband is responsible for maintaining love in the home doesn’t excuse the wife from loving.” But it does indicate where the initiating responsibility lies. 

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