Dads don’t let your children grow up in this world without helping them learn how to deal with sexual temptation.
If you read Proverbs 1 through 9 you see this is the main thing Solomon speaks to his son about.
It is in Proverbs 2:16-19. “So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.” It’s in Proverbs 5:1ff. “My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword. Her feet go down to death.” And, then. it’s in Proverbs 6:20-35.
“The commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproof of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress.”
It’s almost everywhere, and I want you to see how often, Solomon talks about it, because I know that we are tempted not to. Maybe because it’s embarrassing or that’s not how our culture works, but it’s wrong, for parents not to talk to their children about sexual purity, and it’s dangerous. The world’s putting a lot of effort into teaching our children about the wrong things about sex, and so we need to learn from Solomon and teach them God’s perspective.
In fact.I’d challenge you to read these opening chapters of Proverbs, and specifically try to notice exactly how Solomon went about teaching his children about sex. You’ll notice as you do that he is:
Specific: He describes what the woman might look like and what the woman might do or even say
Intense: He doesn’t hide the dangers of this kind of sin. He shows his son where it will take him.
Repetitious: He doesn’t just talk about this once, but on a repeated basis.
Realistic: He lets his son know that there are going to be things that seem attractive about sexual sin. And I think you need to help your children understand this, that sexual temptation, the reason it is tempting is because it does seem pleasurable. I am going to tell my son that, but I am also going to plead with him not to be fooled by his own desires, because of where those desires will take him.
Practical: He tells him what not to do and what to do. He doesn’t just give him the principle. He goes into some detail about how to actually live it out.
And he’s hopeful: He doesn’t just tell his son, watch out for sexual temptation, don’t give into it, it stinks to be you because you have all these desires but you can never do it; no he shows him that the reason he’s telling him no is because he’s concerned about his good and that God has a plan for his sexual desires that is much better than any temptation has to offer.
And you need to help your children see that as well.
One way you can do that by the way is really enjoying your marriage relationship. You don’t need to be kissing your wife all the time in front of your children, but I think you should at least let your children know as they grow up that marriage is sweet and that there is a great God-designed way and plan for those desires we have and that is the husband wife relationship.